David C. Hughes, Writer

“Whatever you do, do from the heart, as for the Lord and not for others” –Colossians 3:23 NABRE

Archive for the tag “Worship”

Not for Men

“And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”  

                                                      –Colossians 3:17

 

Growing up Catholic, I had the opportunity to serve as an altar boy. My brothers and I started soon after we received our First Communion, and I served from third grade until well after high school. If the priest emerged from the sacristy with one or both of the altar boys absent, there was an obligation (and expectation) to leave the comfort of the pew, hurry to the back of the sanctuary, throw on a cassock and surplice, and join him as he opened the mass. I would have rather remained with the congregation, a mere observer and not a direct participant, but when duty called, I always answered.

Being on regular rotation meant I had to be available to serve as either the cross-bearer (and bell-ringer) or the book-bearer, not only on Sundays but during the week as well. When school was in session, mass took place at 7:00 in the evening, and during summer vacation, church started at 8:00 in the morning. Nine times out of ten we had to find our way to church on our own, traversing the one-and-a-half miles from home and back either on foot or on our bicycles. Many times one of my brothers and I hoofed it through snow, ice, and rain to make it on time to silently and respectfully (i.e., no giggling or horsing around) don our sacred vestments and queue up in front of the priest.

For the most part I didn’t mind serving. I fulfilled my duties when I was on the schedule, and I substituted when other boys didn’t fulfill theirs. For the ten or eleven years I served, however, one thing made always made me feel uncomfortable: emerging from the sacristy when the church was completely empty, accompanied only by the echoes of our swishing vestments or the squeaking of the priest’s black shoes. This seemed to happen more often in the evenings during the school year than in the mornings while on summer break.

I don’t know why it bothered me so much, but in the back of my mind I always hoped the priest would cancel mass so I could get back home and play Space Invaders or Breakout. He never did. And it seemed someone always showed up at the last minute to fill a seat or two. I don’t remember what prompted the priest one day to provide an answer to my question of why he officiated mass even when no one was in attendance, but I do remember the answer: “God is here.” And that was enough.

For years—decades—I did things only to serve myself, to bring attention to myself. I remember buying a knock-off Rolex watch soon after I graduated from college and had a real, paying job. I wore that watch to my grandmother’s funeral, not missing the chance to show it off to my family and later confessing it wasn’t a real Rolex but a cheap Chinese-made copy. For years—decades—I did things only to serve myself, even to the point of convincing myself that the foolish ways I sometimes handled money aligned with my own will for me to write for a living rather than carry out the duties supernaturally assigned to me by the Father. For years—decades—I did things only to serve myself, never really bothering to ask God what He had in mind for me, always assuming the burning desires of my heart and not my present reality were what God meant for me. As a consequence I lead a life of James 1:8 double-mindedness that cost me not only financially, but also relationally, emotionally, and spiritually. Lucky for me God was ready to pluck me out of the pit of failure when my way didn’t work. Again.

Thus the reason it’s been a year since I’ve written a blog post. My way didn’t work. My expectations completely misaligned with God’s desire for my life, a desire way bigger than me. But the Father, in His infinite kindness, let me barrel down the highway of selfishness, and the Father, in His infinite mercy, led me back to Himself with a soft whisper and a harsh lesson, yet another teacher gathered with all the other teachers He’s sent.

“Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction,” the prophet Isaiah wrote, “your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’ Then you will desecrate your idols overlaid with silver and your images covered with gold; you will throw them away like a menstrual cloth and say to them, ‘Away with you!’” (Isaiah 30:20-22, NIV®).

I tearfully, humbly, confessed to my wife, Mary, that I’d failed in this writing endeavor, and I apologized for putting us into a stressful financial situation. “You didn’t fail,” she insisted over and over. “Look what we got instead!” A paid-for fixer-upper as the chasm between income and outgo opened its jaws wide in an attempt to swallow us up monetarily. Freedom from a mortgage. Lower bills. Our own little piece of the country, our own little corner of the lake. Flexibility in work schedule, more family time. But most importantly, a lesson in perspective and alignment of expectations. What failed is doing it my way instead of God’s way. What failed is putting myself first rather than God first. What failed is the enemy’s attempts for me to serve the idol of self-sufficiency and not the God of all Providence. A realization that, as a man of God, my work is not for me or for other men, but for the Creator of man Himself. My teachers are no longer hidden, and what lessons they have taught!

So, as Paul wrote in his letter to the Colossians, “Whatever you do, do from the heart, as for the Lord and not for others” (Colossians 3:23 NABRE), I am now seeking to live my life for the Lord moment-by-glorious moment. As a planner and a worrier, this is sometimes hard. As a people-pleaser cut from the Proverbs 29:25 cloth, this is sometimes painful. As a self-focused introvert, this is sometimes excruciating. And so I write this blog with no more expectations that you will find it and read it; I do it to serve the Lord as He gives me the words to share for His glory. I do it because I’ve been called to be a light to His people and a witness to His glory, enjoying my Daddy. If you benefit from it, then praise be to God, but I’m now doing it to praise God. Period. As the priest answered my question as to why he officiated mass even when no one was in attendance, his simple answer is one of those teachers Isaiah spoke of: “God is here.”

Isn’t that enough?

 

 

Copyright © 2017 by David C Hughes

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The Epiphany of Joy, Chapter 6: Joy in Worship (3 of 3)

All my life I’ve had a tendency to seek approval through accomplishment rather than to embrace God’s truth that I am approved just because I am His child.  There’s nothing else I need to do to deepen His love for me.  Absolutely nothing.  No works will make Him love me more.  No additional prayers can entice Him to favor me any better.  No amount of study, knowledge, or wisdom will cause Him to hold me any closer.  He loves me as much now as He has ever loved me, and as much now as He ever will.  But because I equate lack of action for laziness, I compensate by keeping busy, to the detriment of my relationship with my God and His people.  Instead of sitting at His feet and just loving Him, I spend too much of my time and energy trying to win His approval.  But this is not what God intended when He created us.  “’Be still,’” the Psalmist wrote in Psalm 46:10, “’and know that I am God.’”  Be still.  And worship.

When we turn away from the “better part” and shift our attention to the distractions of the world, we put ourselves in danger of worshiping something other than God; we become idolaters.  Like the Hebrews worshipping the golden calf, or like the Pharisees worshipping their manmade layers of rules and regulations, we shift our natural desire to worship away from God and toward anything and everything which distracts our attention and energy away from God, like money, sports, our houses, our jobs, even our dreams if not centered in God’s will.  The love of money may be the root of all evil, but the worship of God is the beginning of all life.  God made us to worship–and we will worship–but only worshiping the better part will bring us true joy.

What does God want from us when we worship?  He wants us.  “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God–this is your true and proper worship,” Paul told the church in Rome (Romans 12:1 NIV).  In view of God’s undeserved gifts–His mercy–the only true and proper worship is the offer of our very life to the One who created us.  He wants our very being.  “For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings” God told the Hebrews through Hosea (Hosea 6:6 NIV). And as we slough off our Martha busyness and put on our Mary reverence, joy is the natural outflow of our actions.

As I researched this book, I found that, by far, the majority of instances of the word “joy” in Scripture are within the context of worship, praise, and celebration of God.  The Psalms especially attest to joy in worship as David and the other psalm writers sang God’s praises and released God’s joy in their hymns; worship leads to joy, and joy leads to worship.  “But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you,” wrote David, “may those who long for your saving help always say, ‘The Lord is great!’”  (Psalm 40:16 NIV).  “Worship is aligning our mind’s attention with our heart’s affections,” said Michael John Clement, Worship Pastor at New River.  “Praise is the language God gives us to communicate with Him.  Worship is the action.  Let us sit back and watch God be God.”  Yes . . . let us watch God be God.

One morning, as I lay in bed praying, I told God “I really don’t know how to worship.”

“Yes you do,” He assured me.  “You’re doing it now.  You’re trusting me.”  I may not “get” worship fully yet.  I may stand unmoving in church except for the pumping of my right leg to the beat of the music on Sunday morning.  I may look around in wonder at the folks who jump and wave their arms and shout at the ceiling, eyes closed, tears streaming down their cheeks, the ones who truly get it and are not just putting on a show.  I may not worship out loud in my prayer language or wave my Holy Spirit fingers in the air.  But, as Mark Driscoll, Pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, said: “worship is not merely an aspect of our being, but the essence of our being as God’s image-bearers” (theresurgence.com, Worship and Idolatry series).  We worship because we’re made in God’s image, we pour out because God pours in.  Our life is one of continuous worship; it’s what we do, it’s who we are.

King David described in Psalm 22:3 that God is holy, “Enthroned in the praises of Israel.”  God dwells in the praises of His people!  God’s presence is real in the hearts of those who exalt Him.  I may not get worship fully yet, but as I continue to walk in His presence, even on a dark road with the Milky Way flowing over me, as I reach up to give myself to Him, with hands open to receive, He opens my heart a little more with each encounter.  Who knows?  Maybe someday you’ll see me turning cartwheels in the aisles at church too.

Copyright © 2014 David C Hughes

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